Well…. I never!!! That Adam Lambert is a norty norty boy. He goes off da grid for a week, swanning around with his hot sexy Finnish boyfriend and IGNORING HIS FANS and then – with ne’er a care for the well-being of his loyal fandom – shows up with OF ALL THINGS!!! BLONDE HAIR!!!!! (that’s BLOND – for our American friends). I mean WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS???? He didn’t ask us first, he just went blithely off and changed his hair colour without so much as a ‘by your leave’!!
Disgusting! SHOCKING!!! Adam can’t go blonde! It’s not NATURAL!!! Dark haired people should stay dark haired! Says so in the bible!!
He’s always had dark hair – it’s how we loyal committed fans know who he is. We go “who is that man up there with that incredible voice singing like an angel???? ….. oh wait I see dark hair OHHHHH that must be ADAM Lambert!!!” Now we’ll be confused. We wont know who it is singing up there, humping microphone stands, pole-dancing with speaker-boxes and kissing the bass player. How we supposed to deal with that? I hope you’ve got plenty of spare cash to pay for all our therapy sessions coz clearly we’re gonna need them!!
Good GOD MAN! You can’t just change the colour (that’s COLOR for our American friends) of your hair on a whim!! FFS!!! WHO does that??? (I mean….. apart from lots of people)
And anyway he doesn’t suit blonde!! It just doesn’t work and it’s obvious it’s not the colour God intended for Adam. See for yourself – all the disastrous times he’s DYED HIS HAIR blonde during his life – even when he was a baby!!! What a freak! (ok 1 or 2 of them are not EXACTLY blonde hair but who’s that picky?)
NB IN RESPONSE TO SOME REACTIONS ON TWITTER TO THIS ARTICLE – No this article is NOT SERIOUS!! No I don’t really think Adam dyed his almost non-existent hair blonde when he was a baby, NO I don’t actually believe the bible says dark-haired people have to stay dark-haired and no I wont REALLY be unable to recognise him or need therapy because he changed his hair colour. And I also think all those pics below of Adam with blonde hair – natural or not – ARE GORGEOUS!. Ok? LOL It’s called satire. parental blocker . Please don’t take it seriously.